Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
TOP 10 FREAKOUT CLOTHES FOR GUYS
1. Anything vintage. Like fucking anything. As long as you got it at a thrift store, garage sale, your grandpa, whatever.
2. Jean jacket. If it has some 60s / 70s style patches on it and its all fucked up thats even better. Rip the sleeves off if you have a motorcycle or a van...
3. Band t-shirt. Ramones, Clash, some indie band no one has ever heard of (Gantez Warrior), pretty much anything besides rap or heavy metal is fine; unless you are wearing the rap or heavy metal t-shirt to be ironic, in which case thats cool too cuz the jokes on them, right?
4. Argyle socks, again preferably vintage and mis-matched. A pair of STANCE socks will work if you aren't going to an important art show or local music gig. Those are pretty freakout for just cruising around town.
5. RAY BAN Wayfarer sunglasses - every retro log D-Fin longboarder has a pair to wear at the beach. The ironic day-glow frogskin style thing works sometimes too. As a last resort, any glasses made by RAEN will get you by until you up your hipster game.
6. VANS shoes. The California Classics, like the ones they wore in the Dogtown movie. Or if you are more hardcore then Converse Chuck Taylors. Either of those and no one will even question your hipster status. But if you can't afford either of those (cuz they are like $45 a pair,) get some ZIGZAGS. They are only $17 bux and possibly even more freakout anyways.
7. Brixton Hat. Yeah, those fucking sailors captain hat things. Seriously, hipsters love 'em.
8. Vintage Levis. Any style Levis, especially the orange tag ones, worn pretty friggin tight. But this is the most important part: YOU HAVE TO EITHER ROLL THEM UP OR CUT THEM OFF ABOUT TWO INCHES ABOVE THE TOP OF YOUR SHOE! Its very important. It will keep them out of your fixie chain on the way to the coffee shop, and it will show off your cool socks.
9. A scarf or gloves. Or both if you are in New York or maybe just attending some super freakout art show. Plaids and earth tones preferred but black always works. Obviously vintage is preferred and the gloves should have the fingertips cut off to make it easier to light and smoke your American Spirits.
10. Large rimmed eyeglasses. "Horn-rimmed" whatever you want to call them - the pseudo-intellectual looking hipster ones. Now heres the best part; if you have perfect vision, just get clear ones. You are just that much more approachable while reading at the coffee shop. So fucking freakout.
2. Jean jacket. If it has some 60s / 70s style patches on it and its all fucked up thats even better. Rip the sleeves off if you have a motorcycle or a van...
3. Band t-shirt. Ramones, Clash, some indie band no one has ever heard of (Gantez Warrior), pretty much anything besides rap or heavy metal is fine; unless you are wearing the rap or heavy metal t-shirt to be ironic, in which case thats cool too cuz the jokes on them, right?
4. Argyle socks, again preferably vintage and mis-matched. A pair of STANCE socks will work if you aren't going to an important art show or local music gig. Those are pretty freakout for just cruising around town.
5. RAY BAN Wayfarer sunglasses - every retro log D-Fin longboarder has a pair to wear at the beach. The ironic day-glow frogskin style thing works sometimes too. As a last resort, any glasses made by RAEN will get you by until you up your hipster game.
6. VANS shoes. The California Classics, like the ones they wore in the Dogtown movie. Or if you are more hardcore then Converse Chuck Taylors. Either of those and no one will even question your hipster status. But if you can't afford either of those (cuz they are like $45 a pair,) get some ZIGZAGS. They are only $17 bux and possibly even more freakout anyways.
7. Brixton Hat. Yeah, those fucking sailors captain hat things. Seriously, hipsters love 'em.
8. Vintage Levis. Any style Levis, especially the orange tag ones, worn pretty friggin tight. But this is the most important part: YOU HAVE TO EITHER ROLL THEM UP OR CUT THEM OFF ABOUT TWO INCHES ABOVE THE TOP OF YOUR SHOE! Its very important. It will keep them out of your fixie chain on the way to the coffee shop, and it will show off your cool socks.
9. A scarf or gloves. Or both if you are in New York or maybe just attending some super freakout art show. Plaids and earth tones preferred but black always works. Obviously vintage is preferred and the gloves should have the fingertips cut off to make it easier to light and smoke your American Spirits.
10. Large rimmed eyeglasses. "Horn-rimmed" whatever you want to call them - the pseudo-intellectual looking hipster ones. Now heres the best part; if you have perfect vision, just get clear ones. You are just that much more approachable while reading at the coffee shop. So fucking freakout.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. 10 THINGS FOR YOU TO WEAR TO UP YOUR FREAKOUT GAME. OR SIMPLY USE THIS LIST TO IDENTIFY PEOPLE THAT YOU THINK MIGHT BE KINDA HIPSTER FREAKOUT. IF HE IS WEARING MORE THAN 2 OF THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME THEN HE IS FOR SURE A FULL-ON HIPSTER FREAKOUT! - PEACE BRO. YOU GOIN TO AVALON TONIGHT?
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